I vaguely remember that I’ve written about this before, but play along, if you will. Do you remember that book If You Give A Mouse A Muffin? Well, a few years ago I stumbled upon an internet spin-off by Beth Brubaker:
If You Give a Mom a Muffin
If you give a mom a muffin,
she’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She’ll pour herself some.
Her three year-old will come and spill the coffee.
Mom will wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks.
She’ll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry into the washer,
she’ll trip over shoes and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She’ll look for her cookbook
(How to Make 101 Things With a Pound of Hamburger.)
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The checkbook is in her purse,
which is being dumped out by her two year-old.
Then she’ll smell something funny.
She’ll change the two year-old.
While she is changing the two year-old, the phone will ring.
Her five year-old will answer and hang up.
She’ll remember she was supposed to phone a friend
to come over for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
She will pour herself some more.
And chances are,
if she has a cup a coffee,
her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.
HEE-LAIR-EE-OUS! And true. Hilarious BECAUSE it’s true. Every–single–time I sit down to do one thing today, something else pops up and my attention snaps from right to left. Good times.
So in honor of today, eat a muffin– or better yet, bring me a box of doughnut muffins from Target. I’m midwestern, we can hang with some doughnuts OR muffins. Gotta go…my phone is ringing…”squirrel”